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time slipping away!

Wednesday 30 July 2008 . 20:36

Hello!!!
So many different experiences to relate in soo little space. From painting a children's flat, seeing the happiness on their faces as they entered the new Magical World, meeting up with old friends to catch up on things... leaving hardly any time for myself!!! So what I'm learning is to live every minute and really take in every second!


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The Tea Cup

Friday 25 July 2008 . 09:52

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary and the shop they visited had a beautiful teacup. They said to the shop assistant, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful." As the lady handed it over to them, the teacup spoke suddenly.
"You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took me, rolled me, patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Let me alone' but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'
"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around. 'Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'
Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet.' Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'There, that's better', I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'
Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, 'Not yet.'
Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and I couldn't believe it was me. 'It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'
'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you would have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life. And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

Moral: God knows what He's doing for all of us. He is the potter and we are His clay. He will mold us so that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Let this story remind you that God has a perfect plan for your life. He may need to place some obstacles in your life to strengthen your character, so that you may be strong in the days of greater adversity. Don't get discouraged when you feel like the heat of the struggle is going to burn you. God knows exactly when to pull you out and deliver you from that problem and when He does you will be much wiser and stronger than you were before. God knows your inner strength and ability to be strong even in the midst of a problem.

Be Faithful and God will Be Faithful
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...

Thursday 24 July 2008 . 16:00

"BE FAITHFUL AND GOD WILL BE FAITHFUL"
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July 23...

Wednesday 23 July 2008 . 08:27

(Warning.. today's post may be very Emo)

things happen for a reason? Well.. 8 years ago my mum passed away, and even though the feeling is usually so strong, today i seem to be indifferent...?!?! I can't really explain. I mean, I don't take it against God any longer as I used to a few years back.. I find comfort in the verse "You give and take away" from the lyrics of "blessed be your name". Its strange. For the first time in 8 years we are not bound to do anything as a family instead we are free to do our own thing like go to our own mass or whatever. It seems like I'm not the only "indifferent" person around. Again... its strange.
Maybe I'm actually comforted in God? I know that there are many things (such as death) that the human mind cannot comprehend, and, who knows, maybe I have accepted that fact? Surely, I still don't know why things had to happen as they did, and why I get to feel all this strangeness, but whatever happens I DO trust God for it! Let's face it, if things hadn't gone the way they did, I wouldn't have taken the Social Work Course, I wouldn't have experienced many of the things I did, I surely wouldn't have met most of you people who read this blog, and I definitely wouldn't be writing these words!!!
Sometimes I get caught in the trap of becoming numb to certain feelings and emotions... but it isnt always something wrong. Sometimes its just routine and habit, other times things just fade away. Today 8 years ago for instance "my stomach froze, and my heart missed a beat" ... today ... my heart and stomach are fine! Is it a healing process? It partly is I guess, but its also the 'getting used to'. Funnily enough, this confusion is confusing, but I'm managing to make logic out of it! :) which is cool!!!
Anyways... that's simply me for today... I didn't express all this for pity or advice or anything of the sort, but I wrote it out for you guys to know that we all pass through something, and we ALL get mega confused at times... but if you're following God there is always a new horizon to look forward to!! When I look back on my life, it looks like a spider's web: at first it looks horrid with just a few strands here and there... then when the creator starts joining the strands together, it becomes a masterpiece, especially in the Son! ;) (play on words there).
If we only believed enough.. God can create something beautiful out of ANY disastor! He is the God of the impossible!!!!!

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Mother Teresa
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of highs and of lows...

Sunday 20 July 2008 . 23:57

Hey all!
hope you're all surviving our christian battles and using our strengths and time to get closer to God!
I just had a most confusing week-end filled with a whole confusion of emotions; happiness, sadness, guilt, anger, peace, loneliness, belonging, name it and i felt it! and as always i left Gozo not wanting to come home. But God works in such mysterious ways!!! I came home, related to my dad all that happened in gozo, and well, i decided to have some quality time with him (not normal)and i had the best time of my life!!!!!!!!!
My peice of advice today... even if you're in the shittiest mood and you have a most shitty week ahead of you... take chances and opportunities and just surrender all to God! Let Him take hold of the situation and bring something good out of it!
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Small things... with great love

Friday 18 July 2008 . 11:25

its not the first time i've written such a post and i've probably posted this video before... but i feel i need to keep emphasising this becuase it is something i truly believe in! I've spent the past 4 days living with the kids of St Rita home as they're "on holiday": its summer, they get bored, my job was to keep them entertained! I really didnt do much, but i know i put love into what I was doing, and i did it for the kids, and for God! If i were doing it for myself i wouldn't have lasted too long considering the amount of hits, punches, kicks.. plus they're hyper and they dont exactly obey! hehe, but i loved every second of it! And my favourite little one didnt want me to leave...
Even the kids do it... small things with great love... they scribble something on a paper, putting all they're love into it, then they come all jolly and happy and give it to you together with this humungous hug!!!!!
Meanwhile, in the evenings, I was up at the home scraping and painting the walls of their flat. Again... if i wer doing it for myself I just wouldnt be doing it... and I was so tired after a day with kids that scraping and painting was the last thing I felt like, especially when it lasted till midnight! Again... I put all my love into it, i kept imagining the expression on the kids' faces as they walk into their flat and find it painted! :)
... Do small things, with great love!!!! _ Mother Teresa

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when I know I believe...

Wednesday 9 July 2008 . 12:59

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being a girl...
Barlow Girl Interview


Italian Song _ Anna Tatangelo
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"Heaven"

Tuesday 1 July 2008 . 08:28

"In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at.' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast wasted time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title was 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written..."
by Brian Moore
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