Wednesday, 23 July 2008 . 08:27

(Warning.. today's post may be very Emo)

things happen for a reason? Well.. 8 years ago my mum passed away, and even though the feeling is usually so strong, today i seem to be indifferent...?!?! I can't really explain. I mean, I don't take it against God any longer as I used to a few years back.. I find comfort in the verse "You give and take away" from the lyrics of "blessed be your name". Its strange. For the first time in 8 years we are not bound to do anything as a family instead we are free to do our own thing like go to our own mass or whatever. It seems like I'm not the only "indifferent" person around. Again... its strange.
Maybe I'm actually comforted in God? I know that there are many things (such as death) that the human mind cannot comprehend, and, who knows, maybe I have accepted that fact? Surely, I still don't know why things had to happen as they did, and why I get to feel all this strangeness, but whatever happens I DO trust God for it! Let's face it, if things hadn't gone the way they did, I wouldn't have taken the Social Work Course, I wouldn't have experienced many of the things I did, I surely wouldn't have met most of you people who read this blog, and I definitely wouldn't be writing these words!!!
Sometimes I get caught in the trap of becoming numb to certain feelings and emotions... but it isnt always something wrong. Sometimes its just routine and habit, other times things just fade away. Today 8 years ago for instance "my stomach froze, and my heart missed a beat" ... today ... my heart and stomach are fine! Is it a healing process? It partly is I guess, but its also the 'getting used to'. Funnily enough, this confusion is confusing, but I'm managing to make logic out of it! :) which is cool!!!
Anyways... that's simply me for today... I didn't express all this for pity or advice or anything of the sort, but I wrote it out for you guys to know that we all pass through something, and we ALL get mega confused at times... but if you're following God there is always a new horizon to look forward to!! When I look back on my life, it looks like a spider's web: at first it looks horrid with just a few strands here and there... then when the creator starts joining the strands together, it becomes a masterpiece, especially in the Son! ;) (play on words there).
If we only believed enough.. God can create something beautiful out of ANY disastor! He is the God of the impossible!!!!!

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Mother Teresa 1 comments