Tuesday, 2 September 2008 . 11:19

even though I've been building a reltionship with God for 5 years now, even though I believe, even though I thrst and even though I serve God with all my strength... there are times when I just fall apart. There are countless times (more often than not) when I don't feel God's presence anywhere close to me... other times I don't feel Him at all! I find comfort in Mother Teresa's writings through which she states not feeling God close for almost 50 years of her life!! Despite this, I believe. Despite all I KNOW He's there! In my non-understanding, in my doubts, in the numbness of it all... I hold on!
Often.. so often I lack breath! So often I'm torn apart by doubts and fears! So very often do i ask "Why" and remain without answers! But through it all, something inside me helps me hold on! The moment I feel weak, tired, crushed and would be about to let go, that is when I find new strength to keep holding on!
It's like I'm holding on to God's back and He's running with me through a storm. We have to get to the otherside of the dark forest, and He's running as fast as He can. I just need to keep holding on!!!!
So in moments of darkness, doubt, confusion and all... Just keep holding on! Even if you don't understand, even if you don't see any further than the huge brick wall you're facing... just keep holding on!

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